I was down to below 105 so briefly. It was almost bliss.
I’m happy. I know I’m beautiful, but I must be perfect.
I’m on my period, so I’ve been binging.
I need to get back to work getting beautiful.
Unfortunately I blow up so fucking fast.
I absolutely cannot afford to lose track like this.
I must develop a routine.
Wake up early. Gentle yoga/jog.
Juice/smoothie before school.
Fruit/salad at 11 at school, or 2, after school.
Bike ride/gym everyday after school.
Clean/spend time doing anything besides eat.
I don’t want a future, I want a present. To me this appears of greater value.
“
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Robert Walser, The Tanners (translation by Susan Bernofsky)
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We all get lost once in a while, sometimes by choice, sometimes due to forces beyond our control. When we learn what it is our soul needs to learn, the path presents itself. Sometimes we see the way out but wander further and deeper despite ourselves; the fear, the anger or the sadness preventing us returning. Sometimes we prefer to be lost and wandering, sometimes it’s easier. Sometimes we find our own way out. But regardless, always, we are found.
